We obviously love the idea of having a fuckbuddy, but while the relationship is a no-strings-attached one, there are still some small responsibilities you have in order to protect, maintain, and enjoy the situation. These responsibilities are easy because they are not things that you have to do. Instead, these are things that you have to not do. Why? Well, all the things you should not do are things that could complicate the fuckbuddy relationship in a negative way. The entire point of having a fuckbuddy is to be able to keep it breezy, fun, and easy! Here’s our list of things you should never do with your fuckbuddy:
Go out for dinner
Do not go out to dinner with your fuckbuddy. Going out for dinner is something that too closely resembles a date. It also brings up some uncomfortable situations, such as handling the check. Your fuckbuddy is not your girlfriend or boyfriend, so you shouldn’t pay for their meal or expect him/her to pay. In addition, it creates a situation in which you feel like dressing up for another person. All of this can feel like a major investment. Investments can mentally muddy the fuckbuddy waters.
It also lends itself to too much conversation. You don’t want to learn too much about your fuckbuddy or reveal too much about yourself. Keep it casual by avoiding restaurants at all costs. We’re not saying that you can’t ever eat with your fuckbuddy. If you are having a fuckbuddy sleepover (which we think is OK), you can absolutely order food or grab a snack from a 7/11 or a Burger King.
We just don’t think you should go out to a restaurant. If you decide to order food and you are doing the ordering, we suggest asking your fuckbuddy to pay you back for their portion of the meal. If that makes you uncomfortable, you can simply tell them that you’ve got the food this time, and they should take care of it the next time. If you are not doing the ordering, you should offer to pay. Investing money in a fuckbuddy gets very messy very quickly.
[Related: How to Find and Court Local Hookups in Today’s Hookup Culture]
Meet each other’s friends
Meeting the friends of a fuckbuddy is a very awkward situation for you, your fuckbuddy, and their friends. Conversely, don’t put your friends in that awkward situation to meet your fuckbuddy. Keeping the two worlds of friendship and FWB relationships is crucial because when you open the door to your personal life with a fuckbuddy or enter their personal lives, the stakes of the relationship get too high. It can be very confusing for everyone involved and moves the fucking relationship onward towards something that more closely resembles dating. Keep those words apart from one another in order to avoid any unnecessary complications in your fuckbuddy relationship. For the same reasons, do not ever, ever introduce your fuckbuddy to your parents. Ever.
Flirt with their friends
This should go without saying. If you or your fuckbuddy fail to meet the ‘No Meeting Friends’ rule, you also allow for the risk of you flirting with their friends, or him/her flirting with your friends. When a fuckbuddy starts flirting with their FWB’s friends, it becomes somewhat of a friendship-incest situation. Nobody wants to share their FWB with their friends. Not only is it incredibly rude and disrespectful to flirt with an FWB’s friends, but it can also ruin the relationship between the two friends.
A fuckbuddy should never be the reason that a friendship is over or broken. These stakes are way too high for a situation involving a fuckbuddy. It’s another huge reason to not introduce your FWB to your friends. This may sound like a unique problem for fuckbuddies; however, it’s very common. Why? Because a fuckbuddy is usually a non-emotional connection. It makes it easy for your friends to justify flirting or engaging inappropriately with them because they are ‘just fuckbuddies.’ Similarly, your fuckbuddy may have the exact same justification for flirting with your friends. However, it’s not justifiable. It’s disrespectful. So, don’t give your friends or your fuckbuddy the chance to cross a line. And, remember to also be respectful to your fuckbuddy if you ever consider flirting with their friends.
Give gifts to
Do not ever give your fuckbuddy a gift. A gift is something that you give to someone special on a special equation. The best thing about a fuckbuddy is that they aren’t special to you. We’re not trying to be mean, you can absolutely have feelings of friendship for your fuckbuddy, but keep it at bay. Gifts send all the wrong kinds of signals and can cause your FWB situation to be confusing for both of you. A fuckbuddy is strictly an in-the-moment vibe. They shouldn’t be forced to think of you outside of the bedroom. A gift can cause that to happen.
Discuss important things
You should always keep the conversation light and easygoing when talking with a fuckbuddy. Do not discuss your troubles with your friends, family, or work. Leave politics and religion out of the conversation. This person is there for you to fuck, not be your therapist. This rule serves two purposes. On the one hand, it protects you from developing feelings for your fuckbuddy. Additionally, it protects your fuckbuddy from having to deal with your personal life. Engaging in a fuckbuddy relationship means that both parties must acknowledge that they are only there to fuck. Forcing your fuckbuddy into a conversation that holds a large amount of weight is unfair and not what they signed up for.
Lie about your feelings
Here is the only exception to the above rule. Telling the truth about your feelings is an important conversation that you should have with your fuckbuddy. If you begin to develop feelings for your fuckbuddy, address it immediately. If you lie to make things easier, you will actually end up making things very challenging for yourself. You may resent your fuckbuddy for not feeling the same way or resent yourself for feeling anything at all. Suddenly, what was supposed to remain fun becomes a completely different animal. You’ll have nothing to lose if you express yourself truthfully to your fuckbuddy. Either they won’t feel the same way and they will be free to move into another situation and you will have the chance to move on, or they will feel the same way and it’ll blossom into something more.