If you’ve clicked the link to read this article, chances are that you’re feeling a little confused about your fuckbuddy situation. You may be wondering if you have done the unspeakable: caught feelings for your fuckbuddy. But, don’t feel too bad. This kind of thing happens. You are a human being with human emotions. If you aren’t sure, read through our list of signs that you’ve developed feelings. If you determine that you have, continue reading on to the advice at the end of the article. This is a very tough situation, but you are not alone.
You want to bring it up
One sure sign that you’re falling for a fuckbuddy is if you want to bring up your feelings to them or ask if they feel the same way. This shows that something is eating you, and it’s enough to jeopardize your FWB relationship. Wanting to know what you mean to your fuckbuddy (when fuckbuddy is basically a non-emotional contract) is an obvious desire for something more. If this need is not strong and all-consuming, you might want to take a look at your life and ask yourself if the feelings are for your fuckbuddy or they are simply a desire for an emotional relationship with anyone.
If you believe that it’s the latter, you may not want to ruin your FWB relationship before you are absolutely sure. We don’t think you should hold these feelings inside, but we urge you to proceed with caution. If you bring up these feelings to your fuckbuddy, you must keep in mind that the relationship is going to change. Either they will want something more with you or they won’t. Even if you bring it up just to convey confusion rather than actual feelings, you will be adding a serious emotional element to the friendship.
You care about the cuddling/pillow talk as much as you do about the sex
Fuckbuddies are for fucking. Sometimes cuddling and pillow talk can be thrown into the mix, but that’s not what a fuckbuddy is there for. If the cuddling becomes as important as the fucking, you’ll want to re-evaluate what your fuckbuddy actually means to you. If you want them to talk to you about their feelings and you feel anything romantic during the post-sex cuddle, chances are that you’re falling.
There is a loophole to this situation and it’s oxytocin. Oxytocin is what is often referred to as ‘the cuddle hormone.’ It’s something that is emitted from your partner after sex that makes you want to be physically close to them. There is a chance that your feelings are merely chemical, purely romantic, or a mix of both. If you love the cuddle as much as the romp, take a serious look at yourself and try to understand how you really feel.
You stalk their social media accounts
If you find yourself stalking their social media accounts, you are likely to want more from your fuckbuddy. It’s ok to look, but a constant check-in or deep-dig is a strong indication that you have feelings because you are clearly looking for more information about the person. You like what they have offered you so far, but you are seeking something beyond the fucking by attempting to find out more about the person. Do you feel a twinge of jealousy if you see someone else flirting with him/her on social media?
Are you looking to learn about their interests in order to impress him/her the next time you meet up? This is not something that people do or feel for others that they don’t care about deeply. Why waste your time or energy on someone you don’t care for, right? So, if you find yourself stalking, you should probably be honest with yourself about your feelings and address them.
You introduce them to your friends (or worse, your family)
This indicates a desire to incorporate your fuckbuddy into your personal life in a way that is much stronger than an FWB. We understand that it can be confusing if you find yourself simply enjoying a deep friendship with your FWB. Although you may insist to yourself that friendship is all it is and that you want to introduce them to your friends for that reason alone, you must try to consider the fact that you are also having sex with this person. Most people aren’t having sex with their friends (unless they are true FWBs or very sexual beings). Introducing your FWB to your family is a very serious thing and we have a hard time believing that you don’t have feelings for your fuckbuddy if you take this dramatic step.
[Related: Things You Should Never Do With A Fuckbuddy]
If after reading these signs, you feel that you do have feelings for your fuckbuddy, we want you to know that, again, it’s very normal and OK to feel this way. But, you have to address it not only with yourself but also with your fuckbuddy. We touched upon this earlier, but the only way to safely handle this situation is with a conversation with your fuckbuddy after evaluating the authenticity of your feelings to yourself. We suggest having this conversation because it’s the only way to either get what you want or to move on.
If you keep it inside and continue to hang with your fuckbuddy, your feelings are going to grow strong and eventually torture you. If you want to have a relationship beyond fucking, you’ll end up wasting your time with your fuckbuddy. If you have the dreaded conversation, you’ll at least get closure if your fuckbuddy reveals that they don’t feel the same way. Afterward, you’ll be able to move on. Or, in rare cases, your fuckbuddy will feel the same way! We hope for the best, but want you to remain realistic.