FWBs and NSA relationships are beloved by people because they allow for a judgment-free zone in which sexual exploration can happen! Roleplaying and experimentation is greatly encouraged during Buddybang sessions with a fuckbuddy. It’s a great way to spice things up. One of the most popular forms is BDSM! Now, BDSM definitely isn’t for everyone, but it can be really fun, and a cool way to spice things up with a fuckbuddy if things have gotten a bit drab (hey- it happens!). But, BDSM is also widely misunderstood.
While bondage and sexual punishments are fun and a part of BDSM, they aren’t everything. In fact, there’s so much more to the relationship than simply DOM or SUB! There are variations of those categories. So, if you’re interested in testing the waters here, but don’t feel like you lean just one way or the other, you’re going to want to read the rest of this article! We’re going to breakdown the various roles within the BDSM space. If you fit one, and your Buddybang buddy fits another, you guys can try your hand at roleplaying in your desired roles!
DOM Archetypes:
- Tops: A basic dominant character, who directs the scene from start to finish.
- Daddies/Mommies: A parental character, typically to a sub who enjoys acting childlike
- Masters/Mistresses: These are BDSM experts, who have been doing it for a long time. They always have someone under their control at any given time
- Heroes: People who love to rescue characters that mirror damsels in distress
- Mentor: A BDSM top who wants to teach a sub the ways of the BDSM universe
- Owner: An owner of a pet or a slave. They bark orders and the subs oblige, always!
- Sadists: Someone who gets sexual gratification from inflicting pain on someone. These people are best paired with masochists.
- Gentleman/Gentlewoman: Chivalrous tops who are mannerly and respectful, while still maintaining control
SUB Archetypes:
- Masochist: Someone who gets sexual gratification from receiving pain. These people do best when paired with Sadists.
- Victim: Someone who needs to be rescued, who enjoys playing a victim in a sexual scene
- Good girl / Good boy: An obedient sub who receives praise from his/her dom counterpart for behaving
- Baby: A childlike sub who is curious and enjoys being taken care of
- Slave: Someone who is obedient to their dom. This person can also be known as a pet. Their status is clearly far, far below that of a doms.
- Brat: A smart ass sub who misbehaves and stirs up trouble, knowing he/she will be punished
- Servant: Often a maid in a scene, they obey everything that the dom asks (but not to the degree of the slave)
Now that you know about some of the roles within the community, you can try them out for yourself! Like anything else, BDSM is not black and white. You can be a mix of characters, or a switch (someone who enjoys being dom at times, and sub at times). Now, because you are in a Buddybang, Fuckbuddy, FWB, or NSA relationship and trying all these things out, you need to be careful.
People in lasting relationships that try this often trust each other and are willing to have an open discussion about safety, consent, and how the scene should be played out. You might not be emotionally close to your fuckbuddy, but you still need to have this conversation prior to testing the waters. It’s an amazing experience when everyone involved is aware, invested, and void of insecurities!